Common Mistakes Women make when they have discovered an affair

Today I am going to share one of my notes on Facebook. [Posted on Saturday, 2 July 2011 at 12:18pm.] I remembered this note in particular because it relates to lots of ladies I know and  I thought it would be nice to let you in on a few tips. These are based on personal experience and I am not going to claim that this is what I do; but I like to think of myself as the strong type.

As much as we all love that feeling we get when we are in love; the tides may change and Mr. Perfect becomes the devil himself. When you have just discovered that your man is cheating on you;please DO NOT DO THE FOLLOWING:

Demand to know about the other woman.
The truth may hurt you. Can you handle the truth? Usually you can’t. I’m a desperate housewives fan and in Season 5; Carlos’ boss was cheating on his wife. When he decided to come clean and brag about his new found “love” to his wife, she didn’t take it well and stabbed him. Thank god that’s just entertainment but in real life; is it worth going to prison for?

Insult the other woman.
By doing so, you are giving her power she doesn't deserve. If you insult her to your man e.g. how is your slut doing? You are only making her seem more attractive and he will want to be with her more. Save the insults for girl’s night out. With your girls; you can insult that slut as much as you want without compromising your dignity. 

Force him to choose, thinking he will choose you.
There is no competition here- you will lose this one! She is new and they are in the honeymoon phase, you on the other hand are an old habit. Be the bigger man and leave with your dignity intact. He’s just not worth your time if he cannot see how jewels of your kind are precious and rare

Beat the other woman up. 

 
Now this is a big No No. As much as it may cool you down; by beating her up you are creating sympathy for her. Now she looks like your victim to him. With this one you are still giving her power. - (does anyone still do this?!)

 

Call him excessively to check on him like a prisoner.
He may start to avoid your calls even if he is not doing anything bad just to protect his freedom.
Ladies; we all know how it hurts when he has his phone on lock and requires a password. To imagine that 3days ago you knew everything but now you are being shut out? In shone we say

"Ukatsvaga makudo mugomo unomawana"

Don't hurt yourself unnecessarily. You will find what you are looking for. Don't break into his e-mails. Don't scroll his  cell phone and don't go through his messages.

Threaten to leave just to scare him.
You are giving him ideas and make the grass seem greener on the other side. The problem is after threatening and you don’t leave, it’s just pathetic. Be a grown up. Girl; if you want to leave, just leave. No threats

Tell his mother.
for crying out loud! This is his mother! She probably knows anyways and she will fully support him when you decide to tell. Unless you have the perfect relationship with her; this is a no brainer

Be in denial even though the signs are there.
Do something about your knowledge or you will make yourself sick. Some diseases are stress-related. Deal with your issues; don't bottle them up. If you have to confront him; go for it. He needs to know that you know. At least that’s a first step.

Cry. 

This is another big No! Please don’t cry. He won't feel sympathy for you. He will feel burdened by the tears and the urge to be at his “happy place” with “the other woman” will get the best of him. (Okay. I’ll be let my softness slide. If you feel the need to, just make sure he doesn't see you do it) 

Commit suicide.
Seriously, once you're gone, you're gone! You are giving them the power and space. She’ll still be around with him and you; will be in hell

                                                       Lovies

                                                        Tari