Now I know I'm really Zimbabwean, 102%...

Since I got back from my vacation ‘I’d been stuck in the house for a week plus so I decided to spend my Saturday at the Mall; catch up with the new stuff. Headed out to Midvalley Mall; to watch a movie, have dinner and do a little shopping. Emphasis on a “little” shopping. Being January and my account is suffering from the much dreaded January disease. I won’t divulge much on that. (if you are Zimbo; you know what I’m talking about)

                                         This is what January disease means in my fridge

So, Im walking around in the mall with “the Mr.” and I remembered my first time in such a beautiful place. (When I was still in Zim; Joina city was under construction. Eastgate, westgate were/are just a joke) It was 2009; when I arrived in this country. Did I mention this mall in particular is a Mega Mall? Everything looked so heavenly back then, the shops were inviting and all I could see were brand names. Innocently,  I walked in excited and got a rude awakening. USD150 on a pair of jeans, really? Yeah I know its Levi’s but common; they are plain blue jeans!

Window shopping is not a crime so I asked for my size; 28 back then. Indeed the assistant brought me a pair of jeans size 28. I wiggled, turned, twisted and sucked my gut in but the damn jeans would go up. After a few moments of awkward silence, the assistant decides to comment

*Chinese accent*

“miss, food too cheap lah. Now too big need big size”

I wanted to go into my Madea mode on her, give her a good tell off but instead I asked for a bigger size. And then she replies, “sorry miss, last size.” I had nothing to lose, Madea was on! I took off my jeans, the one’s I had walked into the shop wearing and showed her the size 28 tag. Fortunately these were brand name original jeans so I could say any crap I want; like how these were fake Levi’s cause if they were original; 28 would fit and it wouldn’t be the last size. 

I digress

Anyways; what made realize I am truly Zim with a 2% margin of error was my Nandos incident. Everywhere in the world, Nandos is a restaurant (and expensive) not a fast food outlet i.e Zim. I wanted to watch a movie that would end at 9.40pm. Heard of the statement, black people will be late for their own funeral.? I wanted to dissociate myself from that belief. Nandos closes at 10pm and there is a strict no seating after 9.30pm policy. I wanted a take away so I inquired before I went on to watch a movie. 

 Slap across the face when I came back for my take away, the guys says they are closed. I mean WTF? I had the decency to ask beforehand and he assured me they would serve me take away, and now this? I wanted to lose it there and then but I decided to use the oldest trick we girls use in Zim, beg.

“please Mkwasha, ndiri kuda chinhu one chete”

“maita basa” with a big smile

Here that statement doesn’t work. Not that Asian men cannot be enticed, but they really observe company rules. I’ve used that statement countless times in TM Arcadia and have gotten things done my way when the shop is about to close.

And on Saturday, I went home hungry and my Nandos craving unsatisfied. [Bummer]